Just How It Is…

Been a little while since I’ve updated here. Visit my myspace blog for more recent events. Basically, to give you a little recap, my job has been a nightmare. I cry several times a day and spend most of the weekend sort of depressed… and sometimes crying then, too. People just up and leave this job every single day. We’re treated like children. I was written up twice, because I couldn’t meet their ridiculous goals. Why am I being held to the same standards as people who have been there a year… and even they can’t meet the goals. It’s not fair. The other 2 people who started with me in this dept have already quit. And at least 2 more who went to ther depts. quit. It’s basically some sort of crazy mortgage sweatshop.

So yeah, I’m going back to ING. I was happy there and it paid enough for me to live at home. No, I can’t really move out when I’m making a little less than $30k a year, but it didn’t look like I’d be moving out any time soon when I was making quite a bit more than that either. This place isn’t even going on my resume. Never happened. While I’m at ING, I’m going to look into taking some sort of classes. This is just how I can justify it. This way, yes I’ll be making less money, but I’ll be doing something to improve my situation and get the education to get a job that pays well and that I’ll actually like. Any suggestions about what I should study? Something that pays alright and doesn’t involve having to deal with the public preferably (I know- a Pol Sci major who doesn’t want to deal with the public… doesn’t make a whole lot of sense to me either).

So I gave my 2 weeks yesterday, but I’m not going back. I’m just not. I was totally miserable all day yesterday. I almost just walked out several times. 2 weeks is too long for me to put up with this. I call Kev or my mom (usually both) on the phone crying almost every single day. It’s not worth it. All of my co-workers that I talked with yesterday said they thought I should just not come in and that they would do the same if they were in my shoes. I have savings, I’m living at home, and I have a job lined up for when I come back from my vacation in Virginia in a couple of weeks. My mom thought I should stick it out so I got my paid vacation and then that Monday morning tell them I’m not coming back. Heh. I just can’t do it, though. Call me weak, but I’m a lot tougher than I once was. A couple years ago, I wouldn’t have made it this long.

Kev’s mad at me. Maybe just disappointed. I don’t know. I’m slightly disappointed in myself too, but I definitely have my reasons. He makes career decisions that don’t make sense to me, too, but even though I don’t always understand I still support him and even defend him if I have to. Sigh. Hopefully he gets over it. His respect means so much to me.

Okay… I’m going to get some stuff done. That’s how I’m using the next week or so… as time to get my room cleaned up, catch up on some reading (I have a ton of it), and maybe try to get started one my running again. I’ve been really lame about that lately.

Leave me love… or suggestions. I need it.

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