Oh, hello February, welcome back! I almost didnâ€™t see you there â€“ you came in so quietly. I see youâ€™ve brought with you my normal month-long head cold. Thank you! How thoughtful, what a positively delightful birthday gift!
You know, February, nobody is a bigger fan of yours than I am. I like to celebrate with you from the 1st through the 28th. Once every four years, we even get an extra day of celebration. How cool is that? No other month has that awesome feature. I even love Valentineâ€™s Day, and always have â€“ even when I was perennially single! Whatâ€™s not to love? Itâ€™s Katesmas Eve! Itâ€™s the most wonderful time of the year!
Oh Dear February, as much as I do adore you, perhaps we can rethink this whole head cold thing next year. I mean itâ€™s a lovely gift and all, but it kind of cramps my styleâ€¦ I mean, we celebrate pretty hard, and I would prefer to not have to do it through a cough suppressant induced haze and a sea of phlegm. As wonderful as it all is, it makes it a bit difficult for me to really enjoy all the awesome food and adult beverages I plan to consume. And should one really be mixing cold meds with copious amounts of alcohol? Silly question, of course they should if itâ€™s their birthday (monthâ€¦)!
So I was just thinking, maybe next year, the head cold can be like a going away gift that you present to me on the 29th (yay, a leap year!). I mean, I donâ€™t really need to be Kate at a Ten for March. March sucks. Itâ€™s crazy busy at work, and while it claims to be â€œin like a lion and out like a lambâ€, it is normally far too leonine for me even at months end! Really, I think I would rather be a little groggy for itâ€¦
Anyway, welcome back February! Youâ€™ve been missed â€“ even with your stupid head cold!