The World According To Kate » humor

A Dramatic Reading From “My Father’s Daughter” by Gwyneth Paltrow

Kate Czlapinski — Sat, 23 Apr 2011 16:31:04 +0000

What If Cats Had Thumbs?

Kate Czlapinski — Sat, 05 Mar 2011 14:30:00 +0000

I LOVED this commercial for Cravendale Milk! I’ve often wondered what my cats would do if they only had opposable thumbs. The possibilities are endless! Perhaps we could even get them to help us out with some chores around the house! On the other hand, the results could be far more sinister…

Puppies in Lingerie!

Kate Czlapinski — Sun, 06 Feb 2011 13:44:35 +0000

I spent most of yesterday on the couch with a box of tissues and my favorite blanket (yes, at almost 29, I have a blankie that I carry around just about everywhere when I’m in the house. I’m like Linus… and it’s cold in here!) and caught up on DVR’d episodes of Conan. Hey, I know how to have a good time!

As I’m sure you know, the Super Bowl is tonight. Some of you will probably tune in to the Puppy Bowl and others may watch the Lingerie Bowl (this one was new to me, too). Conan decided to combine the two, which is pure genius and a prime example of what makes Conan so awesome.

Ladies and Gentlemen, Puppies in Lingerie!

Tonight, I will be heading over to my parents’ house to watch the game and have a joint birthday celebration for me and my brother. There will be all the normal Super Bowl munchies… not sure what I’m going to bring yet.

What are you guys doing for the Super Bowl? Does it involve puppies? Or lingerie?

MasterChef Final 2010

Kate Czlapinski — Sat, 06 Nov 2010 18:12:29 +0000

Kevin sent me this one this morning and I just had to share it. I don’t normally laugh that hard before noon. Enjoy!

Happy Easter, Folks!

Kate Czlapinski — Sun, 04 Apr 2010 12:09:25 +0000

The Daily Show’s John Oliver Discusses Hawaii’s Health Care System with Republicans

Kate Czlapinski — Fri, 12 Feb 2010 16:47:43 +0000

Republicans want Hawaiians to know that their 40 years of government-run health care will not work. It’s clearly all a house of cards! This was truly brilliant.

The Daily Show With Jon Stewart

Mon – Thurs 11p / 10c

The Apparent Trap

www.thedailyshow.com

Daily Show
Full Episodes

Political Humor

Health Care Crisis

The Grapist

Kate Czlapinski — Wed, 13 Jan 2010 00:36:45 +0000

Watch out kids, he gonna grape you in the mouth! Awesome.

‘Tis The Season!

Kate Czlapinski — Sun, 13 Dec 2009 15:00:52 +0000

‘Tis the season… for sketchy mall santas and creepy old relatives dressed up in ridiculous beards to torture small children. It’s the only time of year when we would encourage our toddlers to sit on a creepy old man’s lap and tell him what they really want. Don’t we normally tell kids not to talk to strangers? I guess that excludes the month of December – when we instruct them to sit on the laps of scary old men in costumes … and then take their pictures. Yep, that makes sense to me!

Anyway, I’m getting off track. Sketchy Santas is a site dedicated to this terrifying annual tradition. Hilarious… and a little frightening. Enjoy!

Life With Cats

Kate Czlapinski — Sat, 24 Oct 2009 18:17:03 +0000

I deal with almost this exact same thing EVERY SINGLE MORNING with Spaz. Kevin somehow sleeps through it all.

I knew it, I’m surrounded by assholes!

Kate Czlapinski — Fri, 21 Aug 2009 21:39:01 +0000

Yeah, it’s been one of those weeks… I love this movie and this has got to be one of my most favorite parts. Who hasn’t felt this way ~~EVERY SINGLE DAY~~ before? I know I owe you lots of posts about my recent travels, but I am off to dinner with Jenn at Max Burger. I’m sure I’ll have lots of time this weekend to inundate you with posts about my trip

Bill Clinton As…. The Closer

Kate Czlapinski — Fri, 07 Aug 2009 02:18:41 +0000

I’m glad they sent in the right guy to get the job done, getting Euna Lee and Laura Ling back home safely. There’s nobody more persuasive than Bill Clinton. You just can’t say no to Bill Clinton… er… I know I wouldn’t be able to. Is that just me? I think not.

XKCD: Disaster Voyeurism

Kate Czlapinski — Fri, 17 Jul 2009 22:20:04 +0000

Funny because it’s true…

http://xkcd.com/611/

The Official George W. Bush Presidential Librarium

Kate Czlapinski — Thu, 09 Jul 2009 01:08:17 +0000

George W. Bush Presidential Librarium

This was awesome. And yes, jokes about Dubya ARE still funny.

Jefferson’s First Draft…

Kate Czlapinski — Sat, 04 Jul 2009 15:37:19 +0000

Thomas Jeffersons 1st Draft of the Declaration of Independence on CollegeHumor

Your AHole Tastes Funny

Kate Czlapinski — Fri, 03 Jul 2009 18:59:47 +0000

This is pretty awesome. It’s actually a commercial for Hardee’s, so get your minds out of the gutter, folks! I run a clean blog here.

A-Holes or B-Holes… which do you prefer?

Happy Father’s Day!

Kate Czlapinski — Sun, 21 Jun 2009 13:17:14 +0000

Action Dad!

Isn’t your dad your superhero?

Action Figure Dad – JibJab.com @ Yahoo! Video

Green Team!

Kate Czlapinski — Wed, 17 Jun 2009 22:16:24 +0000

Some helpful environmental tips

Green Team from Will Ferrell

Stephen Colbert Guest Editor for Newsweek

Kate Czlapinski — Tue, 09 Jun 2009 00:48:08 +0000

I just love Colbert (not like I love Jon Stewart, but I love him)… and that’s because I understand satire. Anyway if you dig his stuff, you’ll dig him here.

Stephen Collbert: Why I Took This Crummy Job

Piggy Bank Pyramid Scheme

Kate Czlapinski — Sun, 07 Jun 2009 22:40:15 +0000

marriedtothesea.com

Target Women: The Cougar

Kate Czlapinski — Wed, 03 Jun 2009 23:52:15 +0000

In the most recent Target Women, the always brilliant Sarah Haskins discusses the new reality dating show, The Cougar, in which an attractive 40 year old woman gets her pick of a flock of twenty-something year old D-Bags.

What Recession?

Kate Czlapinski — Fri, 29 May 2009 22:23:52 +0000

So, because I don’t live completely under a rock I have heard that we are in bit of a recession…

I occasionally climb out from under my rock and go somewhere outside of work or home (or the home office) and I socialize and shop and dine out. In fact, lately I think I’ve perhaps done a little too much of all three of them. This recession, my friends, is no fault of mine. I have been working very hard to fuel the economy with lots and lots of consumer spending You think things look bad now? They would be far worse without my valiant efforts. You’re welcome.

Anyway… in my adventures in economic rescue, I have noticed something peculiar. I’m not the only one who is out fighting the good fight. In fact, some people may actually be doing a better job than I am. They’re making me look bad!

Recently, we’ve been spending some time drinking and dining out and having grand times in West Hartford Center – a mecca in CT for trendy, somewhat upscale, and fairly expensive shops and restaurants. And folks, it is hopping in The Center! There are lots and lots of people - young and old – spending a good deal of money on food and entertainment. It’s actually quite nice to see an area that’s really thriving in these economic conditions, but it does make you wonder… how hard are these people working their credit cards? Maybe they’ve just said “screw it, I’m having a great time while I can” – which is a sentiment I can somewhat relate to.

Now, people aren’t just dining out – they’re shopping too! I thought I was doing a great job keeping the economy afloat with recent purchases of a laptop, a Blackberry with a shiny new data plan… and my ever growing collection of running shoes! Sunday, however, my mother and I took a trip down to the outlets and we of course made a stop at the Coach store. I have never seen anything so ridiculous. It was like Black Friday in there. The sales were good, but they weren’t that good. People were pushing and shoving and definitely not saying excuse me while they grabbed these expensive hand bags off the shelves. Some of these women already had six purses in their arms… and they were actually buying them – all of them! Now these women were really making me look bad. I am just not that frivolous…what do they even NEED six purses for??? I don’t know if I’m cut out for these kind of sacrifices.

I guess I am just clearly not working hard enough… I need to go buy more running shoes. Or six BMW’s.

XKCD – Designated Drivers

Kate Czlapinski — Fri, 29 May 2009 02:38:02 +0000

Because, really, who hasn’t been in this exact situation?

http://xkcd.com/589/

The Love Between A Man and His Car: Man Has Sex With Over 1,000 Cars

Kate Czlapinski — Wed, 27 May 2009 23:59:38 +0000

57 year old Edward Smith, a Washington state native, admits to having had sex with over 1,000 cars. His current “girlfriend” is a white Volkswagen Beetle named Vanilla. “As well as Vanilla, he regularly spends time with his other vehicles – a 1973 Opal GT, named Cinnamon, and 1993 Ford Ranger Splash, named Ginger.”

OK, weird… I’ve heard of cars being described as sexy, but can’t say I’ve ever heard on anyone wanting to have sex with one… never mind multiple cars. The article also mentions that he’s once had sex with a helicopter… How does this even work? What are the mechanics of this? I just don’t get it. I’m not sure I want to think about it… And what’s the deal with him cheating on his “girlfriend” Vanilla with Cinnamon and Ginger. So he’s not even faithful to poor Vanilla? Not cool Edward, not cool…

Man Admits To Having Sex With 1,000 Cars

Consumer Reports Tests The Snuggie

Kate Czlapinski — Sat, 23 May 2009 13:51:03 +0000

Findings: You’re getting ripped off to look like a douchebag… and you’ll have cold buttucks. COLD BUTTOCKS… GET YOUR ICE COLD BUTTOCKS! (sorry, it had a ring to it)

http://consumerist.com/5261105/video-consumer-reports-tests-the-snuggie

Newspapers vs the Internet

Kate Czlapinski — Fri, 22 May 2009 02:37:44 +0000

http://www.slatev.com/index.html?bcpid=988092926&bctid=23765184001